Letter 7: Last Blog To A Baby.

Hadley,

You are 11 months old. We are 12 days away from your first birthday. I wanted to write this blog to my baby. In a few short days you will be considered a toddler. Even though, no matter how you dislike it, you will always be my baby. To the world, you are growing. You are becoming more like the kid you will be and much less like the baby Daddy and I brought into the world about 1 year ago. I have so much I want to say to you in this letter.

About 2 weeks ago, I was at my breaking point with worry for you. Frankly, I need to have my internet disconnected. There is just too much information at my finger tips and I think I would have been better off in a simpler time. Where babies were born and they grew. They did things when they did them. If there was a problem, the doctor told you. Not the internet. I digress. Momma was worried about you. You weren't meeting mobility milestones the way I thought you should be and the way "every other baby except you" was meeting. So, I told your dad (who thought I was overreacting) and we made an appointment for my peace of mind. I answered several questions about how you get around (or didn't) and that you relied on me for standing up, you weren't crawling, etc. The doctor listened to my answers and came to the following conclusion: I am a helicopter parent. OH MY! Basically, I needed to leave you alone! If I was always there to pick you up when you cried or stand you up when you were bored, well, how will you ever learn to do it on your own? I was given strict orders to cease and desist. If you wanted me to pick you up, then you needed to find a way to get to me. Well, guess what? 10 days later you are pulling up on your own and crawling (well, crawl/scooting). I've never in my life been so glad that something was 100% my fault.

You are saying a few words now, too. Dada (you love dada!), dog, HEY!, and occasionally mama. Very occasionally.

I feel very ambivalent about your first birthday. On one hand, its all very exciting. Dad and I survived the first year of parenthood with minimal scars. We've learned a lot about each other and how to handle complex life situations. You are learning more everyday and becoming mobile and we long to see the next thing you will do. To see you walk. To hear you talk. To take you to Disney World. All of those things are coming and we can hardly wait to experience it. But, on the other hand, I will miss my baby. Gone are the days when I could hold you for hours and you were content like that. Gone are the days when my arms could stand to hold you for hours :). I will never get to hear you coo or experience your first smile or laugh again because those are memories. In one aspect, I wished those days away. Small babies are a difficult labor of love. There wasn't a whole lot, in my opinion, that was a whole lot of fun in infancy. Now that those days are behind us, I realize just how precious they were. Sometimes, I long to have them with you again.

Your MiMi has always told me that no matter how old I am, I will always be her baby. She still calls me her baby. I'll be 25 next week. I'm, of course, not a baby. But I understand this now. No matter where you are in life. 12 months, 12 years. Young man, old man. You are my baby. I'm thankful for your life. I'm grateful you were given to me to keep watch of. To protect your innocence. To raise. To love. My love for you comes without condition. No matter where you are or what you choose in life, I will love you. When things are good or when things are bad. When I agree with your life choices and even when I don't. I will love you because I'm your mother and you are a part of me. I'm thankful to God for a mothers heart.

Here is a picture of what you look like right now. Exceptionally cute, of course.

walking around the house with mom


at old macdonalds farm with dad

Nobody loves you like I do.

Love,
Momma

Letter 6: Almost 10 months old.

Hadley,

Well, a lot has happened since my last letter. You were 6 months old, and then you were almost 10 months old. Not sure how that happened...but happen, it did.

On 11/4/11, your cousin Bella Rae Warner was born. This was our first time to leave your for more than just a night, and I think it was probably good for both of us! Although I missed you terribly, you stayed with Mimi and had a wonderful time while Daddy and I went to be with your Uncle Nathan and Aunt Amy for the birth of their beautiful baby girl. Here she is:


And then we left you with Sher Bear while we went on a cruise before Christmas with friends. I know you both had a great time and bonded and I know I definitely missed you more than you missed me! Which, for a mom of a baby, is a good thing! :)

You had a great Christmas with family and lots of presents! Many more presents than you need, but you sure do love them all! We enjoyed your first Christmas so much! You have brought the fun of Christmas back to your dad and I! We finally have someone to share the magic with.








Then, in January we took a Trip to New Orleans and surprised your Uncle Nathan. This was your second trip to New Orleans, but your first trip since Bella has been born. We had a great time and got lots of great pictures. Traveling is much more difficult with a baby, though. I won't candy coat that fact one bit! While we were there, we also picked up our new Great Dane puppy, Emery. She is very cute and sweet, even though she drives me to the brink of insanity sometimes, she loves you very much.





Mom has learned lots of things about your personality these passed few months.While I already knew a great deal about you, of course, you are now beginning to come into your own and that has been both wonderful and challenging. Here's the bottom line on Hadley: If you don't like it, everyone is gonna know it. You are going through an "attached to momma" phase right now. You want me in your eyesight at all times. Period. If I'm not, you light it up, and I don't mean maybe. This is a normal and natural baby phase, but sometimes, I wear earplugs if I just have to put get stuff done. ;) You are already so much like me. Your fuse is short and when you don't like something, it doesn't take much of that to really tick you off. For example, we are working on crawling and pulling up right now, and you frankly think that it's for the birds. Why crawl when momma can carry you, right? HA! Well, it has taken me many moons to get you to stay on that tummy for longer than 5 minutes without a stage 5 meltdown. But you are now scooting and pushing up on all fours. You will be all over the place in no time and I will long for these days of staying put. All of that being said, you are so sweet and happy 90% of the time. You smile and laugh and play very well all day. You love to give Dad and me kisses and hugs, and wave "bye bye!" and look in the mirror at yourself and even give yourself kisses in the mirror. Even you know how cute you are! Bath time is always so much fun. You look in the little silver overspill drain at me behind you and turn around and crack up! You just think mirrors are so hilarious. And you know what, to a 9 month old, they are! Everything is new and different. Your little brain is a sponge and you soak it all up with a smile on your face.

I have learned a lot about motherhood these passed few months, as well. Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and he's right. There have been many nights that I have gone to bed and told your dad, "Why won't he just crawl already?! There are babies younger than him that are almost walking!" And your sweet dad will say, "Because he's Hadley. He's not those other babies." He is also right, though I hate to admit that. ;) You are your own person. You will do everything in your own time. You are perfect just exactly the way you are, and when you are ready, you will do what comes next. You are smart. You are growing. You are happy. You have 2 parents who adore you and a host of family members who love you, too. What else should I feel but joy? You are Hadley. I'm glad you are not any other baby but YOU.

Everywhere we go we get stopped and told what a precious baby you are. Everyone loves that red hair and those big blue eyes. What's not to love? You are precious, and you will always be precious to me. My sweet little bubby.

Nobody loves you like I do.

Love, Momma